You can't motorboat a personality
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
