I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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