So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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