i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
