Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
