Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
