PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
