Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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