Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
