part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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