So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
