ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
