Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
