Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
