Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
