I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
