so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
