he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
