All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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