she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
