so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
