Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
