like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
