I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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