It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
