Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
