ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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