i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
