At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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