I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
