you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
