shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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