I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
