I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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