Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize