You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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