I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize