Me. At least after what I've been through.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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