so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
