I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
