afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
