Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
