I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
