Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
