guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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