i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
