I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
