I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
