please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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