I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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