evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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