Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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