I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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