I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
