i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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