i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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