The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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