just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
