It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
