The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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