I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
