i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
