TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
where am i from again
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I look better un-naked...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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