i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
