Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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