fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
