No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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