Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
