every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
