Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
