my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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