A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
