So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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