it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
