the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
