So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
