great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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