Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
